As It stands <-- That is getting put on my left wrist in the near future. As soon as I get a job to pay for it. I'm thinking about applying to Second Cup. I might as well, I pretty much live there anyways. Well no, I don't live there exactly, but it would be cool to go there, work a bit, get payed. I don't know. I just need a job....
I'm trying to find the book "Dear John" but it is no-where to be found. :(
You know how people are always saying exactly what they want in a person and they then start to look for people like that? Today I found out my entire perception of what I thought I wanted was wrong.
I thought I wanted the jock boy. The one all the girls are after. The one with the nice lanky body, the nice wardrobe, blue eyes and great hair. Someone who said all the cliche cute things that you know aren't true but you like to hear them anyway.
I was wrong.
Very, very, wrong.
Turns out I have absolutely no way in this lifetime to fall for someone like that because I was there once, and I couldn't feel a thing.
I have found that I want someone simple. Someone you could cuddle up to in front of a fire, who you can be natural with.
But every girl wants a prince charming of their own. So what makes anyone so sure that they'll get him? I mean, I believe everyone must of been able to find one before. Because everyone seems to have the one person that "got away". What would happen if these people didn't LET those people get away? What if they chased them forever and worked it out and just stopped giving up on every damn thing that gets tough to deal with? Would there be as many unhappy people today? As many divorces? As many murders, suicides?
Perhaps this is the way people begin to know each other, so it's just becomes too much. Because once your idea of a person is shattered people get frightened. That's just too much for some people to deal with. When you begin to know someone as well as you know yourself, you need to let go. Because of energy and your space. Not many people can stand knowing someone that well without feeling the need to pull away. So you settle for second best. Someone you can get near without really knowing them. Someone you can look at without getting feelings in the pit of your stomach that scare you. I'm not going to settle for that. I'm not going to make the same mistakes I've seen being made everyday.
" Maybe its like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And then things happen - these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack in places. And I mean, yeah once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside the Osprey, it will never be remodeled. But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And its only that time that we see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face to face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade, but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out." Margo, Paper Towns - Author, John Green
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